Last Mile Lounge - Running is Unique Edition

Opening Statement
Fervor in the Lounge this day as March Madness enters its second day of Cinderella at the ball.

A query for my distance running brethren. Have you noticed how unique our sport truly is?

Stating with the obvious... In order to run, you don't need a court, a field, or a course - you can just walk outside your door and off you go. You also don't need a special uniform, although the right clothing choices can help. You surely do not need special shoes for running (although shoe companies might argue).

But what about the less than obvious differences in our sport.

Name one other sport where professionals and amateurs alike share the same course, field, or court at the same time? Sure, Golf has pro-am events, but that is more for charity than a regular occurence. In fact, distance running events that are for Elites/Professionals only are the exception, not the norm.

Not only do we share the same courses with Elite Runners, we also often share the same facilities. If Ryan Hall has to winkle during a race, he's using the same port-a-john or tree as everyone else. If I walk into a restroom at the Toyota Center (Houston Rockets Home Court) I can guarantee you that Yao Ming has never set foot in that particular facility.

Furthermore, fans have to pay to get into a venue to watch other sports stars ply their trade. Not so in running. If I want to see Meb Keflezighi run I just need to find a street corner along the course. Also, other sports segregate their fans by offering luxury boxes to keep the unwashed masses (that's you and me folks) away from the rich and famous. In a running event, if the rich and famous can be bothered to rub elbows with those of us in the real world, they have no choice but to stand on the same streets and corners as us regular Joes and Janes.  

Finally, I surely don't see me taking batting practice with Albert Pujols any time soon, if ever, but it is not out of the question for me to warm up on the same street as the Elite Runners.

How about the rules? Elite Distance Runners play by a different set of rules than the masses. In baseball it's always three strikes and you are out regardless of your level. In basketball, a free throw is always worth a single point no matter if you are playing in grade-school, high school, college or professionally. How is distance running different? Two quick examples: First, you and I have the freedom of slapping on a pair of headphones and getting our running groove on during a race. On the otherhand, Elite Runners may not use "video, audio, or communications devices in the competition area." Second, a typical runner can receive aid from anyone on the course. For Elite Runners, not so much. Both of those effenses come with a disqualification.

Listening to: Push It - Garbage
Closing Argument: Whatever your race or distance this weekend - enjoy!

Ready to Fumble

Opening Statement
After two weeks of making the couch my bitch, I am ready for some activity.

Many of you are recovering from St. Patricks Day festivities or stealing precious hours of work from your job site watching March Madness on the internet (freeloaders), so I will allow for your lack of attention.

Me, I personally subscribe to the Nitmos theorem, "a day isn’t a holiday unless it comes with a free day off from work." Well said Brother Nitmos, can I get a "hallelujah!" We need to take this one step further - either the day after said holiday should be a day off or all holidays are henceforth celebrated on Friday to support appropriate recovery activities. I am currently recovering from a singular Sierra Nevada Torpedo (hey, the label is green), which is actually less about recovery and more about the desire to partake in a few more (yes, assuming the role of a stable adult male can be demanding and, at times, unrewarding).

The sutures came out of my foot yesterday, but there are still weeks to go before fun activities such as running can resume. Ironically, I will be able to "enjoy" less fun activities such as cycling prior to that. Go figure. However, this morning I did get back in the groove with some core and some push-ups. Unfortunately, it is not as glamorous as it sounds. The issue is that I am neither able to plant my left foot and put pressure on it, nor am I able to use it for balance. So that means push-ups are done with my ankles on a bench with my feets hanging off the side. Further, I can do four-step crunches with a medicine ball as long as my heals (only) are resting on a bosu ball. I am also able to utilize an exercise ball to do a routine I cannot remember the name of, but provides an eyes-wide view of my Southern Exposure. Joy...

Listening to: True to You - Ric Ocasek

Closing Argument: Apologies to the sphere for turning to trash journalism yesterday to make a point. I used a technique often associated with organizations such as TMZ and publications you find in the check out line of your local supermarket to infer one thing when the facts clearly presented something else.

iPod = Dead Jogger

Opening Statement
Death from above may have never been more true...

Not to seem overly alarmist, but there is a reason I do not run with headphones. If you haven't already seen/heard it on the airwaves, a jogger was killed by a plane while running on the beach. The plane was gliding (no engine power) and the runner was wearing an iPod, but even I have to admit I would typically consider the beach a closed course and would not fault anyone for wearing headphones and jamming out to Lady Gaga or whatever it is you kids listen to.

The point I want you to consider is awareness. When you start shutting down senses, you compromise your awareness of things that are happening around you, including (I would argue) your sixth sense that warns you that something just doesn't feel right.

In the Houston area we have had runners acosted, raped and killed. In nearly every instance the runner in question was wearing headphones. This tells me several things about awareness: First what you can see and hear are equally important. Second, know where you run. It is key to understand the dynamics of an area, especially at different times of the day. A park with running trails has different risks at different times of the day. Finally, if something doesn't feel right; react to it. I am sure that since Vanilla senses terrorists at every corner, he runs appropriately (for example avoiding terrorist laden corners). Yes, a little tongue in cheek considering the subject matter, but true nonetheless.

I have heard all the music/running excuses and based on data, I have made my choice. I am not going to chastise you for yours. Your are an adult and can understand the facts and can make your own decision.

Finally, the runner on the beach may have had no chance even if he had not been running with an iPod. Having run marathons on the beach even I would admit the sound of a plane gliding above may have been drowned out by the incessant crashing of waves on the shoreline. But there is also the chance he may have heard something and although his brain may not have recognized what it was, it may have turned on that sixth sense that something wasn't quite right.

Listening to: Ignorance - Paramore
Closing Argument: Do you know what scares me right now? Electric cars. I often see them before I hear them because I have not gotten used to recognizing the sound just yet.

Brews Day - Gifts from Afar

Opening Statement
Nothing says "Get Well Soon" better than the gift of beer!

A hearty thanks to MCM Mama, who provided three vessels of choice brew to cheer up this house bound, surgery recovering fool. If future giveaways seem rigged, just look above to know the answer!

I have already tried the Starr Hill, which I deem perfect for those who need refreshment after a long, hot run. And if I need to go into why beer is a perfect recovery drink, then you have not been keeping up.

Winner
Interestingly, Jess received overwhelming support in the Comments Section to last Friday's post, yet the voting results underscored that sentiment. Voting was close throughout, although Jess did pull away late to capture her choice of a gift card from either Starbucks or Zombie Runner. Congrats Jess, you have just won a gift card and you are in the third best profession in the country. Feel free to contact me at your leisure at jamesdavid at sbcglobal dot net for a copy of  the fine print and redemption options.

Beer Zeitgeist
Saint Arnold Brewing Company, located right here in Houston, TX and brewer of some wonderfully tasting ales, brews around the clock to keep up with demand. Yet, in one year they will only brew as much as Anheuser-Busch brews in two hours.

Listening to: Angel In Blue - J. Geils Band
Closing Argument: Tomorrow the sutures come off the foot. If that is not cause to enjoy a beer mid week, then I do not know what is. In fact, I proclaim that all must celebrate and we shall call this day "St. Patrick's Day!"  Coincidence, of course...

Last Mile Lounge - Brewery Edition

Opening Statement
The Lounge is packed with a who's who of the Jamooshaholics, each unable to hold in their anticipation of the forthcoming announcement.

The nature of creativity is bound by the muse of the creator and the perception of the beholder. Take for instance running fashion. The genius of matching clothing may leave the wearer feeling cutting edge or sporty, yet fellow runners merely utter the term "runtard" over and over again, while shaking their heads. Hence, it is with utmost thanks that I acknowledge the efforts of the 47 submissions; some witty; some politically incorrect; and some that should never be spoken, even in hushed tones.

To review the five finalists, allow me to introduce Kristen Kreuk.

Better Off Brewing (submitted by Brian)

Last Mile Brewing (submitted by Lady Jamoosh)

Bad Kitty Brewing (submitted by Jess)

Monkey Spank Brewing (Submitted by Razz)

Panda Dungeon Brewing (Submitted by Jameson)

Jamoosh is smokin' hot...


Kristen recently finished up a guest stint on Chuck, where she was dumped (WTF?). Why? Because Chuck is apparently an idiot. Regardless, Kristen gets a lifetime pass to the Last Mile Lounge, which is a great place to hang out when one is between acting gigs.

Sorry, I went a little off track there (Kristen, call me). You all have gathered here to witness a life altering moment that is on par with your wedding day, your first born, or the day you discovered your special parts. So suck in a deep breath and focus your eyes on the monitor as I introduce to you, Johnny Depp.

Many of you know Johnny Depp as an eclectic and accomplished actor. I know Johhny Depp as the guy with the same initials as me, yet infinitely more popular. I am also pretty sure Lady Jamoosh would leave me in half a heartbeat if Johnny merely glanced her way.

Yet, I digress. People, we are here for a reason. And that reason is to enjoy a momentary time suck to get us through the Friday work day. Surely there are Excel spreadsheets that need attention and undoubtedly there are Word documents that need editing. But on Friday? No, things do not get done on Fridays. Instead, the company's ultrafast T1 internet connection is meant for channeling your inner Jamoosh. Indeed... Did I mention my sister, Laurie, is in town? She flew in from San Diego yesterday afternoon and we enjoyed a Dogfish Head Palo Santo Marron (Yes, Laurie is as awesome as her brother!).

Honestly, I had a great song and dance routine to introduce the name of the brewery, but the Solid Gold Dancers were not available. Thus, without further delay I give you:

Listening to: Cold Fever - Models
Closing Argument: Contest officals have agreed it wouldn't be fair to give Lady Jamoosh the prize, especially since she is getting a little sumpin', sumpin' extra. Therefore two options exist. First, Jess also submitted an entry (Last Mile Liquor) which was close, but not quite (although Last Mile Liquor sounds like a run down liquor store you encounter right before driving into a dry county). Hence, we could award the gift certificate to Jess. Second, a random drawing could be conducted among the remaining four LOSERS with the winner receiving the gift certificate. Since coolness prevails in the Lounge, you get to decide. Simply vote in the Poll to the right (You must vote in the poll for your vote to count). Pretend you are in Chicago and vote early and often!

Grody Foot Picture

Opening Statement
I can only apologize in advance...

The highlight of my day yesterday was getting out of the house and over to the Doctor's office for a dressing change of the recently operated on foot.

I was hoping to hear the words, "amazing recovery" which in my brain would be translated as such:

Hey, go out and run tomorrow!

The words I did hear were indeed positive, but not equally so. Apparently, the foot looks "really good." Would you like to be the judge of that?

Hear my promise and believe me when I say I tried to make the picture as small as possible. Hey, that's gonna leave a scar! (Notice how I slyly moved the subject to the left in order to detract from the grossness of my foot - consider it brilliance on my part)

Next week the sutures come out and hopefully I will be cleared for such pedestrian activities such as cycling. I have to admit, I am a wimp when it comes to cycling my dedication to cycling falls well short of my passion for running.

Therefore it better be in the 70 degree range for me to possibly consider venturing out. Seriously, I'll run in freezing rain before I will contemplate cycling in any weather under 70 degrees.

Listening to: Foxey Lady - The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Closing Argument: The "Name the Brewery" contest has resulted in a dilemma only the peeps can decide. Details tomorrow.

Stalker King

Opening Statement
He (it) just creeps me out.

Can you say restraining order...

Listening to: Avenue B - Gogol Bordello

Closing Argument: The perpetual plastic leer is enough to cause me to boycott BK. Screw Freddy and Jason, the King is what nightmares are made of.